when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
