Whod you bang
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
