and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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