What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
