he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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