Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
