Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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