not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
