I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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