i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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