Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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