You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
