BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well I just put wine in my tea
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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