i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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