I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
