Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
