So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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