Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
