PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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