Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I want is dick and wine.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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