If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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