the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
