are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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