Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Less talking, more tequila
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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