I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you never un-have a 4some
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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