he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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