Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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