My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
