I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
