please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
