only if we run a train.
done.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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