yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Mom said you looked used
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
