CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
