You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You are a genius and a whore.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
