he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We're too hungover to prance.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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