one might say we're banned from that church
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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