there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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