who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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