do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
