i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
