So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
