Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
