So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize