I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
