Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
