No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
