I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
