so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
