Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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