Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
