i don't like sucking hair
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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