Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
